The Kiss of Jesus: How Suffering Became My Greatest Gift
About a week ago, someone told me, "I think God sent you the other night, because He knew I needed you." Not every story is mine to tell.
I know this: sitting sitting with her that first night, I was acutely aware of all the events that had led me to that particular place in time. The setting and circumstances were too familiar to me, though my role and perspective were definitely different. So much of what I carry within me had both maneuvered and prepared me for the moment.
My mantra has been 1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 for a while: "Rejoice always, pray constantly, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." It took a long time to wrap my head around being grateful for suffering.
It's funny — I have often thought of the Agony in the Garden as the literary high point of Christianity. There, Jesus exemplifies obedience to God the Father, dying to self and taking up the cross. For the longest time, something eluded me, because I didn't have a meaningful concept of redemptive suffering. I didn't really understand what it means to offer it up.
I don't for a second buy into the notion that God only gives us what we can handle. Sometimes the burden handed to us is crushing. The very existence of suffering challenges faith. It is counterintuitive that suffering is one of the greatest gifts of Creation.
"We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28). So it is with suffering. God works through the worst of it to draw us near Him, to reconcile us with Him. Saint Teresa of Calcutta once remarked, "Suffering, pain, sorrow, humiliation, feelings of loneliness, are nothing but the kiss of Jesus, a sign that you have come so close that he can kiss you."
The truth is that I am only beginning to appreciate just how much is present in the Garden of Gethsemane. So focused on his obedience, I missed Jesus' sacrificial offering of suffering he didn't deserve, given for our benefit, to restore us to God.
Never are we closer to Christ than when we offer up our own suffering to God for the benefit of others. It is one of the purest expressions of gratitude we can give — an act of loving obedience, following Christ's own example (John 13:34–35).
It is difficult to understand why bad things happen to good people or the innocent. Frequently, our own misfortune makes no sense to us. From our vantage point, it is hard to see how a loving God can allow a child to die from cancer, an accident, or any other cause.
But this much is certain: we are all far more connected than we can comprehend or care to consider. The smallest, seemingly most inconsequential actions sometimes carry profound consequences for someone else — perhaps someone we will never meet, or someone not even born until long after we are gone. Still, every moment counts.
So when you are hurting, when you feel like you are being tested, remember Joseph, son of Jacob. Remember Job, Elijah, and Jonah. Think of Christ. And remember that your own suffering might be the very thing that makes the difference in someone else's life.
Give it back to God in gratitude, offering it up in love for someone else.